Friday, February 12, 2010

Mary Beth's Mission Story - Mother Cabrini Shrine

Golden, CO
Summer 2009


“Everyday we are called to do small things with great love.”

The above quote by Mother Theresa was placed on my door at the Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden, Colorado the first week I arrived. I don’t know who placed it there, and although it was followed with new quotes every few weeks… it had the greatest impact on me for it was a guide and is a summation of my experience the last six weeks here at the shrine.

During my short stay with the sisters here, I felt that God was calling me to a time of stillness and quiet reflection so He could show me that we are His beloved and that I am a beloved of God who actually dwells within me. During this time, I have experienced a taste of actually feeling God’s love for me through Jesus: an incredible humbling yet uplifting feeling yet also a relationship that I need to nourish through intimate prayer and reflection.

One of the first tasks I took on at the Shrine was one of nourishment…I began to garden. Many flowers were donated and no one had the time to care for them. Living in a garden apartment at home with little sunlight, I was thrilled to do here what I could not do back home. Unfortunately, these plants were not the best type of plant for the strong sun and the hungry deer population. Despite warnings of these things, I took it upon myself to nurture them back to life, be patient when the deer ate them, and even when I was attacked by fleas! The opportunity to nurture these plants became more important to me than how well they survived. It simply became my duty to try and give them a chance at life. 


Although many of the plants died (and are still dying) in the hot Colorado sun, it became part of my mission to tend to them the best I could and allow them to become what they would, either a beautiful plant for people (and bugs) to enjoy or deer food! Reflecting on this now, I think it is a great lesson and comparison to my relationship with God. I need to nurture my relationship with Him in order to grow into the woman he is calling me to be. There will be dry periods where I don’t hear His voice or feel His presence, but I need to keep watering or feeding our relationship. Because if I do, I know that even when the flowers die, if the roots are strong, new green life will grow forth from them. If I keep nourishing my relationship with God, I will grow according to His will as the flowers do. I will be the plant in nature’s hands, in God’s hands to bloom and help nourish another (like the deer) or die to one experience in order to begin another stronger greener one. In a way through my practice of gardening, I am learning to give up the control I feel I need to have to accomplish my will and let God’s peace fill my heart to accomplish His.

As I arrived and began tending to the flowers, I immediately felt right at home with the sisters. They were like the grandmothers I never got to spend time with and/or wise new friends. Hearing their incredible life stories, the struggles they overcame and how they listened to God’s call inspired me with a great respect for each sister and I felt honored to spend time with them.

As I shared meals and prayers with the sisters and volunteers, I learned how many people just wanted to share their stories and be heard. I quickly began to realize that listening was going to be a large part of my ministry at the shrine. It was a privilege to meet so many people and hear about their lives. Yet it was also a great challenge for me not to constantly be doing, moving, producing or sharing my own stories and just slowing down to listen to others. ..that listening is doing something, something important.

The need to listen to others in the main building transferred down to the chapel grotto where I was to spend most of my summer hours greeting visitors and offering information or a listening ear. Yet their presence seemed more helpful to me than I felt I was an aid to them. I felt so blessed to witness the people who came to the Shrine , their devotion, pain, struggles and joys. Sometimes watching individuals, couples, and especially families kneeling down before the altar and the rows and rows of lit candles, I would be overcome with emotion. I felt so privileged to witness their love for our God, a sight so beautiful, my eyes would well up with tears.

Although I felt like I was accomplishing monotonous tasks in the grotto chapel, I tried to keep in mind Mother Theresa’s words and really have a peaceful and prayerful heart about my actions. I cleaned out many many metal candle bases from votive devotional candles so others could light more. I moved countless Mother Cabrini candles (although I think Sister Irma moved more!) from one rack to another so space could be made for new ones. I tended to the cut flowers that visitors donated for the altar…over and over again.

In doing these small simple things, I quickly learned that even though the Blessed Sacrament was not physically present, the grotto chapel was truly a sacred space. It was sacred because it is a room of prayers coming to fruition through burning candles, prayers that were alive, flickering in unison and calling to our Lord in hope, joy, anguish, petition, love and gratitude. As I moved candles, I was privileged to hold another’s prayer in my hands and again lift it up to God. As I cleaned out the small votives, I learned to pray that even though this candle brunt out may our God not extinguish it in His heart and mercifully hear its prayer. I began to feel honored to move the candles.
 
When it was particularly hot in the chapel, I was tired, and candles needed to be sold to large groups of people constantly arriving, it was hard to remain in that prayerful and peaceful place within. It was a challenge not to just look at them as small tasks that needed to be accomplished and sometimes I did. Yet at the end of the day, I was able to look at the rows of candles burning in the stillness and be awed by the faith, power, and beauty they possessed and represented. Then I was able to end the day in that peace.
 
This is the struggle I know I will face as I leave the quiet of the Shrine and return to the hustle and bustle of work and graduate school in the very flat state of Illinois. I hope and pray that this time was enough to nourish me and give me encouragement through the pressures of my current life to allow me to reflect at the end of the day and be at peace resting in the knowledge that I am a beloved of our beautiful God and I can continue to be on mission doing “small things with great love.”

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Rachal's Mission Story - St. Cabrini Senior Sisters Residence

Philadelphia, PA
Spring 2009

I leave this journey and continue to the next with a renewed sense of mission and purpose, a deeper relationship with God, and a determination to stay true to myself and to continue seeking God.

My journey started a few years ago with initial whispers from God…. a call to change. I felt a desire to leave my things behind and give back to God in gratitude for all the numerous blessings He has given me throughout my life, and most importantly, I desired to grow in relationship with Him. After several phone calls to various volunteer organizations, I was struck by the director of CMC. She was open to dialogue with me and helping me on my journey, whether it continued with CMC or another group. Her generous and loving spirit had an impact on me, and was unique from the other programs I contacted. I was also attracted to the importance placed on the spiritual experience in addition to the service experience. Living in community with religious was important to me, and after looking at the open positions, I felt drawn to serving at the Senior Sisters Residence.

My time with them has been so fruitful and life-giving. They each have a unique journey to share. The roles I served were as a driver, and volunteer and activities coordinator. The focus was being present to the sisters, rather than on the job function I was performing. This was something new for me. I lived in community with them, and we shared evening prayer.

This has really been a time of spiritual growth and nourishment for me. I have been blessed with many opportunities for retreat and reflection. My relationship with God has grown and formed through these, the sisters and the help of a spiritual director. I have learned and practiced the discernment process, and experienced new ways of praying. I have grown in knowledge about myself and clarified/re-affirmed my values. I now realize the importance of my presence over what I do and that mission is everywhere. Silence, solitude and simplicity have resonated with me throughout this time.

Challenges I experienced were part of the interior workings God was doing and the self-discovery that was happening. Exposure to religious life, and the terms: discernment, vocation and “call”, have led me to realize that I have not openly included God in the plans for my life. I now have the tools and initial guidance to properly, openly, and prayerfully seek God’s will for my life…the unique mission that He created me to fulfill.

I leave this journey and continue to the next with a renewed sense of mission and purpose, a deeper relationship with God, and a determination to stay true to myself and to continue seeking God.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Michelle's Mission Story - Mother Cabrini High School

New York, NY
August 2008- June 2009


I've learned that ministry isn't something that we always DO, but many times, it's more of who we are in relation to others - Ministry is Relationship.
Just Another Day at MCHS…

After working at my mission, Mother Cabrini High School in Washington Heights, NYC, I could tell story after story of special or touching moments between students, faculty, staff, complete strangers, and me. However, I’d like to share this one story with you and connect it to one of the important lessons I learned this year.

In mid-February, we had a Stress-Relief Retreat sponsored by the Mission Leaders, one of the clubs I moderate. During one portion of the retreat, students could choose to do a variety of stress relieving activities. Fingernail painting was one of these options. As I sat down with a group of the ladies, Melida, a junior who became active in Campus Ministry this year, turned to me and said, "Miss, can I ask you a question?"


I laughed and jokingly responded, "Of course!... Unless it has to do with politics or math!"

She smiled, but as fast as it had appeared, it dissolved into a serious expression. She quietly lowered her brush into the bottle of her magenta polish and met my gaze: "Miss, were you close to God when you came here?" Melida’s direct question took me aback, I must admit.

I responded by explaining that although my relationship with God was strong in August, it had grown stronger after this ministry year. "Sure," I had said, "Jesus and I talk and I listen – sometimes I do more talking than listening, though. But this year, God’s shown me just how gentle and full his love is for us. And he’s told me this through students like you. So, it’s totally grown stronger this year."

Melida seemed satisfied. She broke into an enormous grin, nodded, and said, "Good. Because I think you’ve gotten closer to God, too." With that, she returned to her attention to her fingernail polish.

"That’s it?!” I thought to myself. "Really? Shouldn’t a question of that caliber be followed up by some philosophical discussion or treatise of some sort?" I stared at Melida, but her concentration had turned to comparing colors with her classmates. So, left to my own thoughts, I stood up and continued my rounds to the next group of students.

One of the most rewarding gifts of being a missioner is the lesson I've learned about the nature of ministry itself. I've learned that ministry isn't something that we always DO, but many times, it's more of who we are in relation to others -  Ministry is Relationship. Presence within these relationships is often more important than what we do - it's all about loving and allowing ourselves to be loved. Within that framework, the single most important relationship in our lives is our relationship with God-- all others will fall into place behind that. In learning to love ourselves in the way that God loves, we naturally become more accepting of our own flaws, as well as the flaws in others. There's so much healing involved! It's hard to love ourselves as God loves us, because we're SO GOOD at believing the lie that we're not good enough. God loves us absolutely and completely! We don’t have to prove ourselves or compete for attention in this relationship. I still don’t understand it and on some days, still struggle to accept that love.

Nevertheless, when we allow ourselves to freely love ourselves and love others as God would, those around us notice. They may not voice it in a way that is as direct as a question like Melida’s—they may not even tell you at all. But that’s just it - because Ministry is Relationship, and relationships are made up of connections, we never know just how far those connections (be they greetings, long discussions, a smile, glance, wave, daily interactions) may bring the light of Jesus to others. In turn, I was refreshed and given light from Melida’s affirmation and presence. So praise the Lord!